Good GRIEF it's about darn time I did another commentary. And it only took several months and ribbing from Invid, too. We'll only be going to page 55, because going all the way to the end is just too much in one sitting.
So last time we left off, Ryou had discovered the other Bakura was still living in his head, and that Bakura has amnesia. On page 38, we see that he's taken off and Téa has no idea where.
A lot of stuff changed at the last minute in this set of pages. First of all, I was originally going to have some pages involving Kaiba's storyline right after Ryou discovers Yami B is still alive. I decided that would be too confusing and therefore pushed the pages back, instead moving into this scene right away. I mentioned this in the DeviantArt artist's comments. What I didn't mention is that, originally, I had intended to show Ryou and Téa's parting, a short conversation that I've been wrestling with on and off for two years. I had finally come up with a version that I liked, yet ironically, the page count was getting much too high and the story was getting a bit ponderous and bloated.
Furthermore, I wanted very much to show Tristan getting back from Singapore, but every idea I had for a page that did so was bland and not nearly informative enough (After all, we already knew from Duke that he was on vacation.) I am of the opinion that every page should either be interesting, funny, or at least move the plot along. While I wanted Tristan to show up more in the story (I hate it when people forget he exists) the pages I was coming up with just weren't enough of any of those requirements. So I grafted the two scenes together, discarding Ryou's actual departure in favor of showing a homecoming by Tristan instead. The original discussion between Téa and Ryou was two pages, so I cut three pages down to one.
(This is another place where I might consider posting the discarded first drafts someday.)
Tristan knows that Kaiba is sick and that he collapsed at a tournament because it was all over the tabloids. (The Big Eye: "Seto Kaiba at DEATH'S DOOR!?? Tournament Collapse!" There would be a quote right on the cover from Kaiba, too: "I'm not dying!" says CEO.) Also his friends tell him about these things.
I love page 39 for like a gazillion reasons. CX I probably should have done something with Marik's subplot (the Ishtar clan revealing itself to the world and promptly getting into a legal fight with the Egyptian government) during Magic Light, but quite frankly Magic Light didn't have "room" for that part of the story, and anyway I tend to think the reveal happened either before or after Magic Light's time period. I do, however, think that "Marik VS The Supreme Council of Antiquities" makes an awesome title for a story. XD There will be a lot more of that plot to show up, and I plan on doing a short (non full length story, so it doesn't count as one of the seven) set of pages involving the conflict coming to a head in between Little Voices and the next storyline. Marik will have a lot of fun and so will you.
His conflict with the Egyptian government is slightly inspired by the trouble that Native Americans still have dealing with the United States government, incidentally. Ironically, the United States will eventually become one of Marik's better allies in the matter. I don't see any conflict with what would happen in reality at all here: the US loves to make up for its mistakes by helping the wrong people. (Not that I think the US shouldn't help people. We just shouldn't do it for some of the reasons that we do, we should do it because we're nice people.)
Anyway, there's a bit of confusion between whether Ryou just opened the door through brute force or picked the lock. My original intent was that he picked the lock, so automatically that he didn't quite realize he was doing it, but I also don't really see a need to make that clear in the comic. The scene's funny, that's what's important.
I love drawing Marik. I love drawing Marik, and I love fiddling with his jewelry instead of just keeping it to what we see during the series. :) I also love lotus blossoms. 'Nuff said.
I suspect that Marik watches Duel Monster tournaments and has actually noticed Yugi acting like Atem all on his own, but he probably also keeps a certain amount of contact with Yugi, and with the others.
Marik is adorable when he's being socially awkward. XD
Page 40 was originally going to be over hot tea, but it occured to me that Ryou probably came in from at least ninety-degree weather (That's about thirty-two degrees Celsius). So yeah, nix on the hot tea.
Ryou gets a lot of weird flak over the fact that he writes letters to Amane. Personally I think the people who fetishize it have more wrong with them than Ryou does: it would be much creepier if Ryou kept a little RPG style doll of her and talked to it. There are a lot of ways of grieving, and writing letters to the lost is one of the more common ones, both in Japan and America.
On the other hand, a lot of people also feel alone in their grief, and it wouldn't shock me if Ryou does too-- he doesn't seem to me like he took her death well, and it also doesn't seem like he and his father pulled together over the loss of his sister and mother at all. So there's him worrying about whether it makes him crazy.
Again, Marik is uniquely suited to talk to Ryou about that kind of thing; he's not only lost quite a lot more than the average modern teenager, he's from a culture that really valued the importance of communing with the dead as part of dealing with loss, and there's no way an ancient Egyptian would have told Ryou writing letters to a dead person and then offering them up to her was crazy or even remotely creepy.
Panel 1-3 of page 41 is pretty much a recap, but it seemed sort of necessary for the characters to lay out what's on the table, just to lead into the final panel. Naturally, Ryou's a little shocked. Personally I feel he's a little disturbed at the idea of owning someone. There's also just the fact that he's so damn tired of dealing with Yami B at this point.
I think on page 42 what Marik means by "taking him off" Ryou's hands is, quite simply, that Marik's responsibility as a Tombkeeper includes things like Yami Bakura.
There's a certain section of the fandom who insist that Marik is still totally going to be messed up Yami Marik style, even after the series, and that the only thing that will get rid of Yami Marik is years and years of therapy.
No. I have taken a class in psychology and totally understand their reasoning, but that is not what happened at the end of Battle City. Yami Marik may have started as a mental disorder, but he didn't end as one, whatever he was. Because he could strap Marik's soul up in the corner the way he had separated Yugi and Atem to do the same thing, he and Marik are clearly distinct souls. Because Marik could "visit" Odion when his soul had been mostly eaten up, they are clearly distinct souls.
So my post-series Marik is relatively mentally stable and no longer has dissociative personality disorder, regardless of whether or not it makes sense. Magic has been shown in Yugioh to clearly be able to fix brains anyway (Kaiba). Marik probably still needs a bit of therapy, but not so much that he can't help Ryou with his problem now.
I tend to think the reason he knows how Ryou should go about calling Yami B forth has either something to do with my mildly random rant, with the fact that he's been talking to Yugi, or simply with the fact that Marik seems to me to be rather educated, magic-wise. I wouldn't be surprised if the heads of the Ishtar clan classified as being some level of sorcerer.
Ryou goes along with it on page 43 because he doesn't know what else to do more than anything. I like this page because it shows how fully in control Ryou actually is, whether he realizes it or not-- not only is Yami B being very childlike (the way the shadows hide his face was intended to call back to the way his face was mostly hidden by shadows when he witnessed Kul Elna's destruction) but he's also being totally compliant to Ryou's will, despite the fact that it's difficult for him. Ryou doesn't help him for several reasons, one of which being that he's still a little afraid of actually approaching Yami B, but also because he simply wants to make Yami B do things for himself. He's a compassionate guy, but he's not THAT warm toward Yami B yet.
The series had several interesting ways to show one soul switching out for another, usually between Yugi and Atem. The "hands touching" method isn't the most original, but it's also one of my favorites. Go figure.
Marik doesn't expect Yami B to remember him on page 44 (although Yami B himself is frustrated and more than a little upset that he doesn't). Once again I went for "little kid Bakura" faces, because that's what I wanted to show: Everything that made him crazy has been blasted away. A frightened child is all that's left. Obviously he's still himself, which is what I wanted to be seen with the serious face he makes when he calls himself an avenger, but he's also more himself than he's been in several thousand years. (If that makes sense.)
The line "I wanted Ryou safe" is both a self-reassurance that he's not a bad person, despite the fact that he's sure he's done something wrong, and an admonition toward Marik himself. "I wanted Ryou safe, and you wanted to let a big red dragon spit on him!!" Not that Yami B actually remembers this; it's more like he's looking in on things inside Ryou's memories. That's also why he "fled."
I love Roo's face in the second panel of page 45. Also, Marik's not sure how much sense Ryou's explanation actually makes. B[
One of the commentors made the best statement in regards to page 46: that Yami Bakura being human means that he can change. Yes. This is exactly it. The other point of this page was to point out the fact that yes, I DO know that I draw Bakura taller than he was in the series. XD
Ryou develops a slight case of Yami B's eye shadows on page 47. Uh oh. Also I finally stopped copping out and actually tried to draw Odion's facial tat. Booya.
We have another cameo on page 48; Angela the dragon, who belongs to Lady Blackwings of Deviantart. She's a nice lady and does pretty colors. O_O Poor Yami B is basically the kitten in Ryou's basement right now. I also feel that this page shows one of the ways that Ryou IS a good person, despite everything: He doesn't trust the guy and dislikes that he's basically been forced into nursing him, but the sad puppy face Yami B is making still works on him, and he's still being kind to him.
I've always been mildly fascinated with Thief King Bakura's life before he became part of the Yami Bakura entity. Invid and I agree that what happened in the Millenium World arc couldn't have been exactly what truly happened in the past (more like a "summary" of what had happened, altered by the modern elements added to it and by the fact that it was actually a role-playing game), so there's a lot of questions left unanswered. But he was probably the one character who was up to the most interesting mayhem.
On page 49 I chose to add the "meanwhile" note, something I don't normally do, mainly because the Bakura scene set was so long. I have always had it in my head that Bakura's visit to Marik takes place around the same time or slightly after Yugi, Joey, Serenity and Rebecca visit the Kaiba mansion, but I was concerned that chopping the scenes apart would be too confusing, and I really don't like being confusing. :x (I'm aware of the fact that I still am anyway.)
I love that Mokuba screams Yugi, Joey, and Serenity's names in all capital letters, but Rebecca's name is said with normal capitalization like it's just sort of added on. Also, that last panel was one of many panels that was a lot easier to draw because Invid is nice and lets me borrow his portable DVD player: Instead of trying to dig up my manga volumes, which are notoriously insidious to find (I swear they're alive and do it on purpose) I could just grab one of the Duelist Kingdom DVDs and put the DVD player on my desk. XD (This is one of many reasons why I simply find it easier to write a story following mostly anime continuity- that and the fact that parts of the manga send my suspension of disbelief crashing through the floor, and then it drowns in the sea below while flailing around for a tiny key that probably floated a hundred feet away by the time it should have reached my poor, poor suspension of disbelief. >_<)
And since I got a laptop recently, it's going to be even easier than that- Now I can just save screenshots and use those. Yay, technology! XD
I love Roland to pieces. I sort of ad-libbed a lot of the furniture on page 50, but I figure if Kaiba really does have OCD or something, it probably gets moved around enough that it doesn't matter. Kaiba's bed is a totally different one from the one that is briefly shown in Magic Light. I could say something like "Well, this is a fancomic and I was being less careful about references and junk during Magic Light YOU'RE NOT PAYING ME to read this so don't complain," but that's not how I feel about it: The fact that I'm not making any money off this doesn't mean I don't care about it. So my official explanation is actually that Kaiba was sleeping in a guest room that one time, because burning his clothes in a wastebasket filled his room with a smoky smell that he couldn't sleep with. XD (Well sure, it was on a balcony, but he left his door open, so the smell still got in.) (Yes, this is how much of a nerd I am.)
In the original version of the fanfic that became this comic, it was actually going to be Serenity that went in to talk to Kaiba, and worse, she visited him alone. I wrote the original idea several years ago, and that's my only excuse. Past-me mostly cared about her agendas, while Current-me cares more about the fact that Joey knows Kaiba better than Serenity does and is more likely to understand Kaiba's hangups right away, and that Serenity is much more timid than Joey is. This is one of the reasons I'm not bothered by my own writing process taking a long time: Fics end up less stupid because of it. I love page 51 because that maid is totally talking in lolcatspeak, and Kaiba totally just nearly dropped an F-bomb. XD The sketch version of this page featured Kaiba snuggling down further into the bedding contentedly before realizing someone (who wasn't Mokuba) was sitting next to him, but it wasn't particularly clear what was happening-- it looked more like Joey was snuggling into Kaiba. For obvious reasons (this scene is homoerotic enough!) I chose to have him say "Mnf?" instead.
Also, Kaiba hires no maids under the age of 25 in my universe. I just want to make that clear: Women who don't look like they could be Mokuba's mom need not apply. XD I gave her a French Maid style costume anyway, just because it's so very anime for her to be wearing one.
In panel 3 of page 52, Kaiba's muffled words are "Oh Gawd!" If you look closely, you'll see that Joey has chosen to wrap his legs around Kaiba's right arm. Kaiba finds this incredibly disturbing. XD
Some of the way Joey's talking about healing on page 53 caused a reader or two to wonder just how sick Kaiba actually is, since a lot of people don't think of the flu as being a life-threatening illness and it almost sounded as though that's what Joey was saying, that Kaiba was dying or something.
The common flu is one of those funny illnesses that, when a person gets it, can either run its course if the person is getting proper treatment, or can, if the person is NOT getting proper treatment, get worse and worse and worse. Kaiba is essentially prolonging the amount of time that he's sick by being difficult to take care of. XD That's part of what Joey's telling him off for, anyhow.
Another side to it is the fact that Joey knows that Kaiba's still a little out of wack over the car accident. This whole scene became a scene about how Kaiba couldn't even apologize to Joey when he thought Joey was awake, and now is the first time Joey's outright told him that it's okay and they can move on. They're communicating better than they were back at Duelist Kingdom, but it's not the kind of communication you normally see between two healthy people. Page 54 turned out pretty much exactly as I wanted it, and while it's not as heavy impact as a scene about Kaiba standing in the rain so nobody bothers him at his father's grave, I'm still quite pleased with the moment and consider it quite important.
At this point in the story, Joey's opinion about Kaiba has morphed into sadness that Kaiba's so messed up.
And of course, the delectable page 55, which I simply cannot leave out. Look at that Roland! Look at hiiim!! XD Mokuba would seem to have funny ideas about how to get people to relax. Also, as noted in the page comments, Earl Grey is considered by some to be a breakfast tea. I thought it was a bit funnier than coffee.
In this fancomic, as a totally random aside, I chose to have Roland's full name be "Roland Isono," as Isono is his Japanese name. This seemed like a fairly economical solution: His dub name is the only given name I've known the character to have, and his Japanese name is the only family name I've known the character to have. And they sound comfortable when said aloud next to one another.
Next commentary, I'll probably try to plow all the way to the end! Yay! XD
Showing posts with label puppyshipping. Show all posts
Showing posts with label puppyshipping. Show all posts
Monday, December 12, 2011
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Little Voices: Pages 20-27
As I noted in the last commentary, I wanted to talk about pages 20, 21 and 22 as a unit, so that's what I'm doing.
Bakura has always been a fascinating character to me, and I tend to feel that he gets a bit abused in current fandom (mostly, apparently, thanks to the Abridged Series, but the character abuse has always been there.) Throughout the series, the man was living a horror story, but it's kind of a different one from the abuse-slash that ran rampant in the fiction lines for a while there (I'm sure it still does, but I stopped reading it a while ago.) So I try to handle him with a bit more respect than that. What I wanted, with this scene, was to really strike the readers with the pain and horror of his story, and contrast it with the quiet dignity and anger he has while he's telling it.
I also wanted to point out that he's not really the weak sissy-boy that people think of him as being. XD I don't think any of us would have fared much better in his position.
Yes, he did sort of cut off a friendship speech on page 22, although I don't think it was a friendship speech that was going to run on for more than a sentence. One of the other things I happen to like about Bakura is that something about his voice lets me wax more poetic than I usually get to in comics; Joey gets surprisingly poetic sometimes too, but most of the time, for most characters, poetic descriptions and musings sound odd in regular dialogue. Maybe that's also why I enjoy writing Japanese people in general.
Bakura's also quite a bit worried here that there's some specific reason that the Ring kept teleporting back to him, and that it's a reason he doesn't want to know about. I'll sort of spoil it by saying that he discovers most of the truth by the end of Little Voices.
Also, the black bird from page 21 is gone in 22.
Page 23 starts one of my favorite scenes in Little Voices. The girl in the first panel replaced a different character in the precomic: Green, from my original webcomic The Law of Purple. I replaced him because it didn't make any sense for an alien to be dueling Yugi in Game of Dreams, and enough of the people who read YnY also read LOP. XD (Unfortunately, that's also why I couldn't use anyone that got sent in: Green's voice is too uniquely his own, and wouldn't have worked for anyone in the handful of characters I have in the pool.) I kind of wish now that I had drawn Green's Frog Shirt on her, though.
I have a short skit in my head of what happened right before Joey ran up to Yugi, for the interested:
He was tucked beside a vending machine, btw, that somehow never got drawn. I'll probably do gimme art of it later. Also, I love how Serenity gets almost comfortable with teasing him, then switches into Mom Mode on page 24. The Kuriboh Bag was inspired by Aaliyan, who also, by the by, has done some gift art for me featuring Yukai and her character Kipacha. :3
I've had the idea of Kaiba coming down with the flu for years. It was in all the very earliest versions of Game of Dreams, including the version that wasn't actually part of YnY as a story. (In a couple of them, Serenity had to deal with him all by her poor little self. Weep for her.) I like how it brings him down without involving a crapload of drama, which to be frank a lot of fanfiction could do with less of. (I prefer craploads of drama to be used in cautious amounts.)
And since this scene deals with Serenity seeing a little more past the Kaiba Ultimate to the vulnerable Seto, I had to let Seto see a little bit of Tough Girl Serenity on page 25. She's still embarrassed as hell, and not as sure of herself as she was in Magic Light when she was hitting her father upside the head with a turkey, but she absolutely refuses to fail at what she's been charged with doing, and Kaiba can respect that.
Also, page 26 totally proves Serenity right and Kaiba wrong, when he passes out just like she said he would. Take that, boy. XD I think Joey's Duel Disk looks more like a spaceship glued to his arm in the first panel, but somehow that amuses me more than it annoys me.
Yugi's laughing mainly because, when I was first writing all this, I had to express how hard I was laughing somehow. There aren't words for how pleased I am with that expression. Serenity's little girl act gets me going pretty badly too. X3
Poor Joey. His legs are still hurting him, and now he has to carry Kaiba around. (You must really care, Joey, if you're still willing to put up with this.)
I did several inked versions of panel three as practice, because I was worried Kaiba passing out wouldn't look quite right. I think it paid off. Second panel's "What's going on with you" feels kind of clunky, but it's for a good reason: Joey knows Kaiba well enough to know "What's going on" and "What's wrong with you" would both be taken in completely the wrong way, so he phrases it in a very deliberate way, so that Kaiba understands him.
There were two extra pages that would have gone next, but they were, despite amusing, slightly tedious and messy with the flow. (I might post sketchy versions of them later.) The first one mainly featured things like Mokuba declaring that he was going to do a paparazzi check, Yugi taking both Joey and Kaiba's Duel Disks (because Kaiba by himself is heavy enough) while Joey shifted him into a better position, Serenity arranging some benches for them to lay Kaiba down on (so he wouldn't be on the floor, you know), and Kaiba muttering utter nonsense through his fever. (At one point snuggling into Joey and smiling in his sleep, which weirded Joey out more than just a bit. XD) The second page mostly covered them putting Kaiba on the bench (Yugi is helping Joey with all the more awkward parts of moving Kaiba around, btw, like making sure his head doesn't flop back violently).
And of course he wakes up on page 27, because Serenity got something cold for his head. This scene is, as a matter of fact, the exact and only reason I designed that bulky, poofy leather jacket for Yugi to wear in this storyline: It was designed to look good, yes, but it was designed first and foremost to double as a decent pillow for this scene. Their Duel Disks are all underneath the bench, and Yugi, Serenity and Joey are all sitting on the floor because they're hoping to shield him from view a little more. (I doubt it's really working.)
I like the one-liner scolding from Mokuba while Serenity's making a relieved face in the background. I also like that, while Joey's scolding Kaiba and Kaiba's snarking back at him, Kaiba is also noticing where Joey's coat is and is practically hugging the thing when he tells Joey not to touch him. (I'm not entirely sure he's aware that he's doing it.) It's another one of those nice things about comics; doing one thing with the dialogue and another with the imagery, and also just doing two things at once. (Kaiba started shivering violently when Joey put him down; that's why Joey gave him the jacket.)
I'm also very amused at Joey calling Kaiba an idiot. When Kaiba does things like running off without seeking help or refusing to accept help, Joey's reaction to me always says "Kaiba, you are an idiot!" And while Joey has plenty of his own idiotic moments, it's pretty well a fact that Kaiba can be a real idiot himself. I just sort of like watching them call each other idiots. I had a lot of male friends in high school who interacted exactly like this.
Kaiba's facial expressions turned out a lot more little-kid vulnerable than I had originally planned here, but it's something that I'm happy with. Joey's all "Don't you DARE get up" and he looks totally docile in response, whereas in the sketch he looked more like a wet cat. I basically decided, factoring the exhaustion and the sickness with the fact that he totally had no idea where he was for a moment there, that he probably doesn't have enough energy to look like a wet cat quite yet. XD
Kaiba just has one of those character designs that looks quite childlike and youthful as soon as he stops yelling and looking fierce. So drawing that vulnerability out of him is really pretty easy, even to do by accident. :P
There's a little hint of the direction I'm going with Mokuba in this page, too, which is basically that he's going to be as awesome as an adult as he is as a little kid. 83 I've always felt there's a strong undercurrent in Mokuba and Seto's relationship in which Mokuba is taking care of Seto as much as Seto is taking care of Mokuba, and I certainly know I'm not alone in that opinion. And since this (Mokuba as caretaker) began sometime in the series and got stronger as time went by, I like to take the opportunity to play with it here. (Of course, Seto doesn't always realize he's being taken care of, but that's his problem.)
Oh, let's see, what's coming next... Next few pages, this problem gets resolved, and then we discover where Duke and Tristan have been this entire time. Then I believe it's back to Bakura, which is as it should be. XD
Bakura has always been a fascinating character to me, and I tend to feel that he gets a bit abused in current fandom (mostly, apparently, thanks to the Abridged Series, but the character abuse has always been there.) Throughout the series, the man was living a horror story, but it's kind of a different one from the abuse-slash that ran rampant in the fiction lines for a while there (I'm sure it still does, but I stopped reading it a while ago.) So I try to handle him with a bit more respect than that. What I wanted, with this scene, was to really strike the readers with the pain and horror of his story, and contrast it with the quiet dignity and anger he has while he's telling it.
I also wanted to point out that he's not really the weak sissy-boy that people think of him as being. XD I don't think any of us would have fared much better in his position.
Yes, he did sort of cut off a friendship speech on page 22, although I don't think it was a friendship speech that was going to run on for more than a sentence. One of the other things I happen to like about Bakura is that something about his voice lets me wax more poetic than I usually get to in comics; Joey gets surprisingly poetic sometimes too, but most of the time, for most characters, poetic descriptions and musings sound odd in regular dialogue. Maybe that's also why I enjoy writing Japanese people in general.
Bakura's also quite a bit worried here that there's some specific reason that the Ring kept teleporting back to him, and that it's a reason he doesn't want to know about. I'll sort of spoil it by saying that he discovers most of the truth by the end of Little Voices.
Also, the black bird from page 21 is gone in 22.
Page 23 starts one of my favorite scenes in Little Voices. The girl in the first panel replaced a different character in the precomic: Green, from my original webcomic The Law of Purple. I replaced him because it didn't make any sense for an alien to be dueling Yugi in Game of Dreams, and enough of the people who read YnY also read LOP. XD (Unfortunately, that's also why I couldn't use anyone that got sent in: Green's voice is too uniquely his own, and wouldn't have worked for anyone in the handful of characters I have in the pool.) I kind of wish now that I had drawn Green's Frog Shirt on her, though.
I have a short skit in my head of what happened right before Joey ran up to Yugi, for the interested:
Joey and Serenity see Kaiba sleeping on a bench in an out of the way corner.
Joey: What the hell?
They lean over him.
Serenity: (slightly pink, because Kaiba is a cute sleeper) Maybe we should wake him up.
Joey: Nah, let him sleep. We need to find Mokuba.
Serenity: We can't leave him here by himself!
Joey: So, you stay with him and watch him!
Serenity: (blushing madly) JO-EEY!
But Joey is already gone.
He was tucked beside a vending machine, btw, that somehow never got drawn. I'll probably do gimme art of it later. Also, I love how Serenity gets almost comfortable with teasing him, then switches into Mom Mode on page 24. The Kuriboh Bag was inspired by Aaliyan, who also, by the by, has done some gift art for me featuring Yukai and her character Kipacha. :3
I've had the idea of Kaiba coming down with the flu for years. It was in all the very earliest versions of Game of Dreams, including the version that wasn't actually part of YnY as a story. (In a couple of them, Serenity had to deal with him all by her poor little self. Weep for her.) I like how it brings him down without involving a crapload of drama, which to be frank a lot of fanfiction could do with less of. (I prefer craploads of drama to be used in cautious amounts.)
And since this scene deals with Serenity seeing a little more past the Kaiba Ultimate to the vulnerable Seto, I had to let Seto see a little bit of Tough Girl Serenity on page 25. She's still embarrassed as hell, and not as sure of herself as she was in Magic Light when she was hitting her father upside the head with a turkey, but she absolutely refuses to fail at what she's been charged with doing, and Kaiba can respect that.
Also, page 26 totally proves Serenity right and Kaiba wrong, when he passes out just like she said he would. Take that, boy. XD I think Joey's Duel Disk looks more like a spaceship glued to his arm in the first panel, but somehow that amuses me more than it annoys me.
Yugi's laughing mainly because, when I was first writing all this, I had to express how hard I was laughing somehow. There aren't words for how pleased I am with that expression. Serenity's little girl act gets me going pretty badly too. X3
Poor Joey. His legs are still hurting him, and now he has to carry Kaiba around. (You must really care, Joey, if you're still willing to put up with this.)
I did several inked versions of panel three as practice, because I was worried Kaiba passing out wouldn't look quite right. I think it paid off. Second panel's "What's going on with you" feels kind of clunky, but it's for a good reason: Joey knows Kaiba well enough to know "What's going on" and "What's wrong with you" would both be taken in completely the wrong way, so he phrases it in a very deliberate way, so that Kaiba understands him.
There were two extra pages that would have gone next, but they were, despite amusing, slightly tedious and messy with the flow. (I might post sketchy versions of them later.) The first one mainly featured things like Mokuba declaring that he was going to do a paparazzi check, Yugi taking both Joey and Kaiba's Duel Disks (because Kaiba by himself is heavy enough) while Joey shifted him into a better position, Serenity arranging some benches for them to lay Kaiba down on (so he wouldn't be on the floor, you know), and Kaiba muttering utter nonsense through his fever. (At one point snuggling into Joey and smiling in his sleep, which weirded Joey out more than just a bit. XD) The second page mostly covered them putting Kaiba on the bench (Yugi is helping Joey with all the more awkward parts of moving Kaiba around, btw, like making sure his head doesn't flop back violently).
And of course he wakes up on page 27, because Serenity got something cold for his head. This scene is, as a matter of fact, the exact and only reason I designed that bulky, poofy leather jacket for Yugi to wear in this storyline: It was designed to look good, yes, but it was designed first and foremost to double as a decent pillow for this scene. Their Duel Disks are all underneath the bench, and Yugi, Serenity and Joey are all sitting on the floor because they're hoping to shield him from view a little more. (I doubt it's really working.)
I like the one-liner scolding from Mokuba while Serenity's making a relieved face in the background. I also like that, while Joey's scolding Kaiba and Kaiba's snarking back at him, Kaiba is also noticing where Joey's coat is and is practically hugging the thing when he tells Joey not to touch him. (I'm not entirely sure he's aware that he's doing it.) It's another one of those nice things about comics; doing one thing with the dialogue and another with the imagery, and also just doing two things at once. (Kaiba started shivering violently when Joey put him down; that's why Joey gave him the jacket.)
I'm also very amused at Joey calling Kaiba an idiot. When Kaiba does things like running off without seeking help or refusing to accept help, Joey's reaction to me always says "Kaiba, you are an idiot!" And while Joey has plenty of his own idiotic moments, it's pretty well a fact that Kaiba can be a real idiot himself. I just sort of like watching them call each other idiots. I had a lot of male friends in high school who interacted exactly like this.
Kaiba's facial expressions turned out a lot more little-kid vulnerable than I had originally planned here, but it's something that I'm happy with. Joey's all "Don't you DARE get up" and he looks totally docile in response, whereas in the sketch he looked more like a wet cat. I basically decided, factoring the exhaustion and the sickness with the fact that he totally had no idea where he was for a moment there, that he probably doesn't have enough energy to look like a wet cat quite yet. XD
Kaiba just has one of those character designs that looks quite childlike and youthful as soon as he stops yelling and looking fierce. So drawing that vulnerability out of him is really pretty easy, even to do by accident. :P
There's a little hint of the direction I'm going with Mokuba in this page, too, which is basically that he's going to be as awesome as an adult as he is as a little kid. 83 I've always felt there's a strong undercurrent in Mokuba and Seto's relationship in which Mokuba is taking care of Seto as much as Seto is taking care of Mokuba, and I certainly know I'm not alone in that opinion. And since this (Mokuba as caretaker) began sometime in the series and got stronger as time went by, I like to take the opportunity to play with it here. (Of course, Seto doesn't always realize he's being taken care of, but that's his problem.)
Oh, let's see, what's coming next... Next few pages, this problem gets resolved, and then we discover where Duke and Tristan have been this entire time. Then I believe it's back to Bakura, which is as it should be. XD
Monday, April 5, 2010
Therapy, Joey Style
Lines taken from "Rescuers: Down Under." Man it's been a long time since I watched that movie.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
What's up so far and commentary
So right now we're working on the first part of Game of Dreams, which is the prologue to Yukai no Yugi and'll be in seven parts (The number of times I've written that....)
Thus far there are fifteen pages but they'll all be linked in the cover comments by the time it's done.
Now for "indepth commentary", I suppose. If you haven't read the fifteen pages yet, it'd be better to do so now.
I worry I'm going to be accused of overdoing the drama here. The first page narration only barely manages to not be overwrought, although most people seem to not care about the first page much even though I was mostly very pleased with it. XD
Is it wrong that I'm amused that the grand majority of the comments, including my own, on page two, go along the lines of "No, Joey!!" We all sound like Serenity or something. (I would post a video of Serenity yelling "No, Joey!!" but I can't find it on Yuutube and I can't remember the episode number. XDDD)
I don't remember why Yugi was in the shower in his first scene. I think I just wanted something for him to be doing. ^_^; Which means, natch, that I'm a pervert, because that was the first thing I thought of. Also I admit to being pleased with how he looks in most of his scenes; I have trouble drawing big-eyed Yugi because apparently "cute" just isn't programmed into my style or something. >D (I LIE?)
One of the important things I tried (and possibly failed) to get across in these pages is the fact that Yugi understands Kaiba-- and Téa and Tristan do not. In fact I tend to think that, other than Mokuba, Yugi and Joey (yes, Joey too) are the only people who really understand Kaiba in any way. Which is part of something he comes to realize in the background. And Yugi considers Kaiba a friend, which is why he so insistently tells him not to worry, Yugi will take care of things.
That's also why Yugi keeps asking Kaiba if he's okay. XD
It's not very clear, but Kaiba actually helped to lift Joey off the front of the car, and has blood on his clothes. That's what he's burning in a garbage can on page seven. He talks about self-therapy because his doctor has him on some medication to mitigate such obsessive compulsive behavior, and being Kaiba, he's ticked off by the idea that he'd need to take medication for something like that. I don't know WHEN he started to take the medication, but I suspect it started right after Duelist Kingdom, and that he stopped taking it at some point before or during the Doom arc, because he was convinced it was causing hallucinations. During the Doom arc he realized that it couldn't possibly be the medication causing him to see things, so he's going back on it as a trial run. XD This theory, obviously, only holds up in the dub.
If you don't follow the dub continuity then just assume he started taking it some time in the undefined past, I'm mostly joking anyway.
In page eight's dream sequence, I'm mainly referencing a line from the manga right after Death T; in which Mokuba says that his and Seto's father died "in an accident" when Mokuba was three. I strongly suspect this of being a car accident. I have not seen anything to refute or contradict this suspicion within anything canon. I'm writing under the assumption that it WAS a car accident because that makes the impact of the accident with Joey more personal.
Do note the bandaid on little Seto's cheek.
In case nobody was aware, Kaiba sleeping in means there is something VERY WRONGTM. Thus Moku-chan's concern. (I've only seen him asleep when he was actually either knocked unconscious, soulless, or both. Heee.)
In page 10, I wanted to imply (from Yugi's expression) that Tristan has been bitterly harping on this line several times already. Also, Yugi sounds like Atem (which as I note in the comment will be gone into) and Téa's just like OMG. 8O Notice her posture in the last panel, if you aren't too distracted by the evil shadow trying to eat Seto's shoulders.
If it isn't clear in the next page from the positioning of characters, Serenity is going in one direction (after Kaiba, in the direction of Joey's room) while Téa is running in the opposite, the direction Kaiba came from. One of the things that will be set up in this story arc is a sudden drift between Yugi and Téa. There were things that happened in the main anime and manga that I was unsatisfied with the resolution of, in this case, Téa's mourning of Atem. She was in love with him (so sayeth the manga outright), and being someone who's been in love with people I can't have, this is something I want to see real development and human behavior in, because I've been there.
In pages 12-15, I mostly wanted to lay the groundworks for my version of Silentshipping. I'll admit it. Anyone who's looked at the character sheets for YnY proper know that this story has Silentshipping in it. Basically, I have several things here to say about the pairing itself and how I write it:
1. Kaiba's relationship with Joey is vital to this pairing. I have committed Puppyshipping for its own sake before, but it's also very important to Silentshipping because Joey is the most important man in Serenity's life, and because in canon, I often read Joey and Seto's relationship as being love/hate/twisted fraternal. On whatever level, Kaiba cares about what happens to Joey by the end of the series, and what's happened hurts.
2. I am perfectly aware that he has no idea who she is. That's what makes page 13's second and third panels so awesome. XD
3. Yes, Serenity is crushing on him. In the VR Noa arc, during Kaiba vs. Jinzo, you can see her clapping insanely when he makes a spectacular move. She does that for Joey, but I somehow doubt she does it for Yugi. (chuckles) She blushes badly when she has to talk to him in the blimp arc, obviously screwing up all her courage. At the very least Serenity finds Kaiba both exciting and intimidating.
4. Serenity is the second person in fifteen pages to ask Seto if he's okay.
Other subjects of note in this scene include that Joey is listening to the entire conversation, is only pretending to be asleep to spare Kaiba the humiliation, that Kaiba is desperately trying to assauge his guilt, and that Kaiba is making the mistake of assuming that not being hurt means he's got no right to be upset. Also, Serenity is annoyed that Kaiba remembers Mai and not her.
Asj and I had a short discussion about how Kaiba would have referred to Serenity if he had seen her duel.
Thus far there are fifteen pages but they'll all be linked in the cover comments by the time it's done.
Now for "indepth commentary", I suppose. If you haven't read the fifteen pages yet, it'd be better to do so now.
I worry I'm going to be accused of overdoing the drama here. The first page narration only barely manages to not be overwrought, although most people seem to not care about the first page much even though I was mostly very pleased with it. XD
Is it wrong that I'm amused that the grand majority of the comments, including my own, on page two, go along the lines of "No, Joey!!" We all sound like Serenity or something. (I would post a video of Serenity yelling "No, Joey!!" but I can't find it on Yuutube and I can't remember the episode number. XDDD)
I don't remember why Yugi was in the shower in his first scene. I think I just wanted something for him to be doing. ^_^; Which means, natch, that I'm a pervert, because that was the first thing I thought of. Also I admit to being pleased with how he looks in most of his scenes; I have trouble drawing big-eyed Yugi because apparently "cute" just isn't programmed into my style or something. >D (I LIE?)
One of the important things I tried (and possibly failed) to get across in these pages is the fact that Yugi understands Kaiba-- and Téa and Tristan do not. In fact I tend to think that, other than Mokuba, Yugi and Joey (yes, Joey too) are the only people who really understand Kaiba in any way. Which is part of something he comes to realize in the background. And Yugi considers Kaiba a friend, which is why he so insistently tells him not to worry, Yugi will take care of things.
That's also why Yugi keeps asking Kaiba if he's okay. XD
It's not very clear, but Kaiba actually helped to lift Joey off the front of the car, and has blood on his clothes. That's what he's burning in a garbage can on page seven. He talks about self-therapy because his doctor has him on some medication to mitigate such obsessive compulsive behavior, and being Kaiba, he's ticked off by the idea that he'd need to take medication for something like that. I don't know WHEN he started to take the medication, but I suspect it started right after Duelist Kingdom, and that he stopped taking it at some point before or during the Doom arc, because he was convinced it was causing hallucinations. During the Doom arc he realized that it couldn't possibly be the medication causing him to see things, so he's going back on it as a trial run. XD This theory, obviously, only holds up in the dub.
If you don't follow the dub continuity then just assume he started taking it some time in the undefined past, I'm mostly joking anyway.
In page eight's dream sequence, I'm mainly referencing a line from the manga right after Death T; in which Mokuba says that his and Seto's father died "in an accident" when Mokuba was three. I strongly suspect this of being a car accident. I have not seen anything to refute or contradict this suspicion within anything canon. I'm writing under the assumption that it WAS a car accident because that makes the impact of the accident with Joey more personal.
Do note the bandaid on little Seto's cheek.
In case nobody was aware, Kaiba sleeping in means there is something VERY WRONGTM. Thus Moku-chan's concern. (I've only seen him asleep when he was actually either knocked unconscious, soulless, or both. Heee.)
In page 10, I wanted to imply (from Yugi's expression) that Tristan has been bitterly harping on this line several times already. Also, Yugi sounds like Atem (which as I note in the comment will be gone into) and Téa's just like OMG. 8O Notice her posture in the last panel, if you aren't too distracted by the evil shadow trying to eat Seto's shoulders.
If it isn't clear in the next page from the positioning of characters, Serenity is going in one direction (after Kaiba, in the direction of Joey's room) while Téa is running in the opposite, the direction Kaiba came from. One of the things that will be set up in this story arc is a sudden drift between Yugi and Téa. There were things that happened in the main anime and manga that I was unsatisfied with the resolution of, in this case, Téa's mourning of Atem. She was in love with him (so sayeth the manga outright), and being someone who's been in love with people I can't have, this is something I want to see real development and human behavior in, because I've been there.
In pages 12-15, I mostly wanted to lay the groundworks for my version of Silentshipping. I'll admit it. Anyone who's looked at the character sheets for YnY proper know that this story has Silentshipping in it. Basically, I have several things here to say about the pairing itself and how I write it:
1. Kaiba's relationship with Joey is vital to this pairing. I have committed Puppyshipping for its own sake before, but it's also very important to Silentshipping because Joey is the most important man in Serenity's life, and because in canon, I often read Joey and Seto's relationship as being love/hate/twisted fraternal. On whatever level, Kaiba cares about what happens to Joey by the end of the series, and what's happened hurts.
2. I am perfectly aware that he has no idea who she is. That's what makes page 13's second and third panels so awesome. XD
3. Yes, Serenity is crushing on him. In the VR Noa arc, during Kaiba vs. Jinzo, you can see her clapping insanely when he makes a spectacular move. She does that for Joey, but I somehow doubt she does it for Yugi. (chuckles) She blushes badly when she has to talk to him in the blimp arc, obviously screwing up all her courage. At the very least Serenity finds Kaiba both exciting and intimidating.
4. Serenity is the second person in fifteen pages to ask Seto if he's okay.
Other subjects of note in this scene include that Joey is listening to the entire conversation, is only pretending to be asleep to spare Kaiba the humiliation, that Kaiba is desperately trying to assauge his guilt, and that Kaiba is making the mistake of assuming that not being hurt means he's got no right to be upset. Also, Serenity is annoyed that Kaiba remembers Mai and not her.
Asj and I had a short discussion about how Kaiba would have referred to Serenity if he had seen her duel.
XD If I have something wrong with me, I don't care, because I have more fun this way.~AsjJohnson
Hmm...
Serenity should realize that Mai's a duelist and she's not. I do wonder what may have happened if Kaiba was there to see that duel she was forced into... O_o No wait, that would be a bad idea because Serenity was all whiny. ^_^" Perhaps if he saw near the end... I think Serenity got it together at the end, if I remember right... Then Kaiba would think of her as "Virtuous, mahogany-haired, Saint-Joan girl" (... that is the
name of the card, right? >_>" I think it was...) Heh. First I was going to say "cute" instead of "virtuous", but I couldn't picture Kaiba using that word - even if I meant it as "short and child-like, like Mokuba". ^_^"
--~Yukai-no-Yugi
XD Yeah, I was kind of dissappointed I didn't have enough room to write "Well NOW I know how to get his attention..." next to Serenity's head there.
Saint Joan, yeah. Virtuous doesn't really sound like him either, though, maybe just "short" or "bubbly?" XD And he'd probably say "redhead" because it's shorter. Hee.
--
~AsjJohnson
Hmm...
Well, I guess I can't argue about Serenity having brown instead of red hair anymore ^_^", because I'm pretty sure I've heard Ichigo from Bleach being referred to as having red or orange hair - and I'm still confused about that, when it's definitely blond... v_v (pretends to compare Ichigo and Ed) Ed's blond hair is oranger than Ichigo's orange hair.Anyhow... Um... was there enough room to say "I need to become a duelist"?I basically decided on "virtuous" because Kaiba says Serenity's a virtue name.
^_^" Perhaps Kaiba could just call her "Mutt-sister"? Seems more appropriate at the moment, since he didn't see her dueling. (tries to keep from laughing as I picture Kaiba calling her "virtuous Mutt-Sister" - and then tries very hard not to laugh as I picture Serenity's look, which is similar to panel seven except that she's smirking darkly as she considers how to kill him.)
--
~Yukai-no-Yugi
I actually thought of writing that AFTER I had already
written OMG, so no, sadly, there wasn't. (Sigh! XD)
Pfa ha ha ha ha!
"Virtuous Mutt-sister." XDDDD Darn you, now I've got it in my head too!
X33
(Serenity: DX Keel yuuu!!Kaiba: What? What'd I say?)
Nah, if he did that he would have said something about Mai having a corny name.
Speaking of that duel, I actually think it shows Serenity to have prodigious talent when she calms down.
And then Joey ruins the moment by letting Serenity know he's awake. Take note of his expression in the largest panel of page 15. I applaud Serenity for not losing her cool the entire scene, though.
Right now there are four and a half pages in production; three are scanned and cleaned but not shrunk.
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