Thus far there are fifteen pages but they'll all be linked in the cover comments by the time it's done.
Now for "indepth commentary", I suppose. If you haven't read the fifteen pages yet, it'd be better to do so now.
I worry I'm going to be accused of overdoing the drama here. The first page narration only barely manages to not be overwrought, although most people seem to not care about the first page much even though I was mostly very pleased with it. XD
Is it wrong that I'm amused that the grand majority of the comments, including my own, on page two, go along the lines of "No, Joey!!" We all sound like Serenity or something. (I would post a video of Serenity yelling "No, Joey!!" but I can't find it on Yuutube and I can't remember the episode number. XDDD)
I don't remember why Yugi was in the shower in his first scene. I think I just wanted something for him to be doing. ^_^; Which means, natch, that I'm a pervert, because that was the first thing I thought of. Also I admit to being pleased with how he looks in most of his scenes; I have trouble drawing big-eyed Yugi because apparently "cute" just isn't programmed into my style or something. >D (I LIE?)
One of the important things I tried (and possibly failed) to get across in these pages is the fact that Yugi understands Kaiba-- and Téa and Tristan do not. In fact I tend to think that, other than Mokuba, Yugi and Joey (yes, Joey too) are the only people who really understand Kaiba in any way. Which is part of something he comes to realize in the background. And Yugi considers Kaiba a friend, which is why he so insistently tells him not to worry, Yugi will take care of things.
That's also why Yugi keeps asking Kaiba if he's okay. XD
It's not very clear, but Kaiba actually helped to lift Joey off the front of the car, and has blood on his clothes. That's what he's burning in a garbage can on page seven. He talks about self-therapy because his doctor has him on some medication to mitigate such obsessive compulsive behavior, and being Kaiba, he's ticked off by the idea that he'd need to take medication for something like that. I don't know WHEN he started to take the medication, but I suspect it started right after Duelist Kingdom, and that he stopped taking it at some point before or during the Doom arc, because he was convinced it was causing hallucinations. During the Doom arc he realized that it couldn't possibly be the medication causing him to see things, so he's going back on it as a trial run. XD This theory, obviously, only holds up in the dub.
If you don't follow the dub continuity then just assume he started taking it some time in the undefined past, I'm mostly joking anyway.
In page eight's dream sequence, I'm mainly referencing a line from the manga right after Death T; in which Mokuba says that his and Seto's father died "in an accident" when Mokuba was three. I strongly suspect this of being a car accident. I have not seen anything to refute or contradict this suspicion within anything canon. I'm writing under the assumption that it WAS a car accident because that makes the impact of the accident with Joey more personal.
Do note the bandaid on little Seto's cheek.
In case nobody was aware, Kaiba sleeping in means there is something VERY WRONGTM. Thus Moku-chan's concern. (I've only seen him asleep when he was actually either knocked unconscious, soulless, or both. Heee.)
In page 10, I wanted to imply (from Yugi's expression) that Tristan has been bitterly harping on this line several times already. Also, Yugi sounds like Atem (which as I note in the comment will be gone into) and Téa's just like OMG. 8O Notice her posture in the last panel, if you aren't too distracted by the evil shadow trying to eat Seto's shoulders.
If it isn't clear in the next page from the positioning of characters, Serenity is going in one direction (after Kaiba, in the direction of Joey's room) while Téa is running in the opposite, the direction Kaiba came from. One of the things that will be set up in this story arc is a sudden drift between Yugi and Téa. There were things that happened in the main anime and manga that I was unsatisfied with the resolution of, in this case, Téa's mourning of Atem. She was in love with him (so sayeth the manga outright), and being someone who's been in love with people I can't have, this is something I want to see real development and human behavior in, because I've been there.
In pages 12-15, I mostly wanted to lay the groundworks for my version of Silentshipping. I'll admit it. Anyone who's looked at the character sheets for YnY proper know that this story has Silentshipping in it. Basically, I have several things here to say about the pairing itself and how I write it:
1. Kaiba's relationship with Joey is vital to this pairing. I have committed Puppyshipping for its own sake before, but it's also very important to Silentshipping because Joey is the most important man in Serenity's life, and because in canon, I often read Joey and Seto's relationship as being love/hate/twisted fraternal. On whatever level, Kaiba cares about what happens to Joey by the end of the series, and what's happened hurts.
2. I am perfectly aware that he has no idea who she is. That's what makes page 13's second and third panels so awesome. XD
3. Yes, Serenity is crushing on him. In the VR Noa arc, during Kaiba vs. Jinzo, you can see her clapping insanely when he makes a spectacular move. She does that for Joey, but I somehow doubt she does it for Yugi. (chuckles) She blushes badly when she has to talk to him in the blimp arc, obviously screwing up all her courage. At the very least Serenity finds Kaiba both exciting and intimidating.
4. Serenity is the second person in fifteen pages to ask Seto if he's okay.
Other subjects of note in this scene include that Joey is listening to the entire conversation, is only pretending to be asleep to spare Kaiba the humiliation, that Kaiba is desperately trying to assauge his guilt, and that Kaiba is making the mistake of assuming that not being hurt means he's got no right to be upset. Also, Serenity is annoyed that Kaiba remembers Mai and not her.
Asj and I had a short discussion about how Kaiba would have referred to Serenity if he had seen her duel.
XD If I have something wrong with me, I don't care, because I have more fun this way.~AsjJohnson
Hmm...
Serenity should realize that Mai's a duelist and she's not. I do wonder what may have happened if Kaiba was there to see that duel she was forced into... O_o No wait, that would be a bad idea because Serenity was all whiny. ^_^" Perhaps if he saw near the end... I think Serenity got it together at the end, if I remember right... Then Kaiba would think of her as "Virtuous, mahogany-haired, Saint-Joan girl" (... that is the
name of the card, right? >_>" I think it was...) Heh. First I was going to say "cute" instead of "virtuous", but I couldn't picture Kaiba using that word - even if I meant it as "short and child-like, like Mokuba". ^_^"
--~Yukai-no-Yugi
XD Yeah, I was kind of dissappointed I didn't have enough room to write "Well NOW I know how to get his attention..." next to Serenity's head there.
Saint Joan, yeah. Virtuous doesn't really sound like him either, though, maybe just "short" or "bubbly?" XD And he'd probably say "redhead" because it's shorter. Hee.
--
~AsjJohnson
Hmm...
Well, I guess I can't argue about Serenity having brown instead of red hair anymore ^_^", because I'm pretty sure I've heard Ichigo from Bleach being referred to as having red or orange hair - and I'm still confused about that, when it's definitely blond... v_v (pretends to compare Ichigo and Ed) Ed's blond hair is oranger than Ichigo's orange hair.Anyhow... Um... was there enough room to say "I need to become a duelist"?I basically decided on "virtuous" because Kaiba says Serenity's a virtue name.
^_^" Perhaps Kaiba could just call her "Mutt-sister"? Seems more appropriate at the moment, since he didn't see her dueling. (tries to keep from laughing as I picture Kaiba calling her "virtuous Mutt-Sister" - and then tries very hard not to laugh as I picture Serenity's look, which is similar to panel seven except that she's smirking darkly as she considers how to kill him.)
--
~Yukai-no-Yugi
I actually thought of writing that AFTER I had already
written OMG, so no, sadly, there wasn't. (Sigh! XD)
Pfa ha ha ha ha!
"Virtuous Mutt-sister." XDDDD Darn you, now I've got it in my head too!
X33
(Serenity: DX Keel yuuu!!Kaiba: What? What'd I say?)
Nah, if he did that he would have said something about Mai having a corny name.
Speaking of that duel, I actually think it shows Serenity to have prodigious talent when she calms down.
And then Joey ruins the moment by letting Serenity know he's awake. Take note of his expression in the largest panel of page 15. I applaud Serenity for not losing her cool the entire scene, though.
Right now there are four and a half pages in production; three are scanned and cleaned but not shrunk.
